We were driving back from Chicago, flipping XM back and forth between classic 80's and older country music when Jerry Reed's "When You're Hot, You're Hot" came on.
My boyfriend, Matt (who seemed to know the words to nearly every song that popped up among the stations), began singing along, giving the chorus a particular gusto that - in spite of its predictability - sent me into a fit of laughter every time. In my effort to secretly film him, I caught only the end of the song but was elated when he gave me one more [unknowingly recorded] YOU HOT!
Like many laughs we share, however, this proved to be only the beginning of the joke....
Me: Know what persecutors said to Joan of Arc?
Matt: YOU HOT!
Me: Almost! They said, "Maiden Arc, you are deemed guilty and must be punished by death. Oh, and YOU HOT!"
Me: Know what villagers said to Salem witches?
Matt: I've no idea...
Me: Sure you do! They said, "Brides of Satan, you will join your beloved as the flames of death lick your thighs. Oh, and YOU HOT!"
Matt: [On a roll...only in a different direction] - -
Know what the nose said to its mucus? YOU SNOT!
Know what the rider said to her horse? YOU TROT!
Know what the conspirator said to the mastermind? YOU PLOT!
Know what the bed said to its cousin? YOU COT!
Know what the inventor said to his artificial person? YOU BOT!
Know what the maggot said to the carcass? YOU ROT!
Know what the idea said to the pen? YOU JOT!
Know what the wound said to the platelet? YOU CLOT!
Know what the house said to its ground? YOU LOT!
Know what the sailor said to his rope? YOU KNOT!
Know what Mary Todd said to her husband? YOU SHOT!
Know what the period said to its twin? YOU DOT!
Me: [Excited to play along] - -
Know what the zookeeper said to the leopard? YOU SPOT!
Know what the shrink said to the ink? YOU BLOT!
Know what the farmer said to the cow? YOU GOT!
Me: [Pause]
Matt: [Silence]
Me: You know.....milk.
[Crickets]
3 comments:
OK, that's hilarious!
Driving back to Chicago.... the Chicago's song like "if you leave me now", "feeling stronger every day", "25 or 6 to 4", "saturday in the park" and so on....
Yes, that's hilarious. Happy Easter.
Truly, hon, You Hot!
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