Dear Grace

I have written to Dylan countless times but this is my first love letter to you; it will certainly not be my last. While I may never share these actual words with you, I hope I find meaningful ways to express their intent throughout your life.

I was eight years old - just like you - when my dad married the woman who would be my step-mother. I loved her immediately in small, superficial ways (she was very pretty and she smelled nice). Initially, she was also very pleasant toward me and so I am sure my affection would have become genuine in a short amount of time - most children are blessed with an availability of love. Unfortunately, we did not have a close relationship as I grew up but a part of me loved her anyway for giving me my brother.

I remember meeting you for the first time and how willing you were to have me in your room and to share in the game you were playing. I remember the comfortable way you crawled onto my lap and the curious, playful manner in which you touched my hair. You were so receptive to my being there and I was grateful.

In the months that followed our introduction, you occasionally called me "mom". I knew this was less an exclusion of your true mother and more an inclusion of me but I corrected you each time...

Grace, my name is Jessica.

I know. I'm just going to call you mom.

But you have a mom.

You can be my second mom and "mom" can be your nickname.

I have a nickname - it's Jess. What if I wanted to call you Steve?

That's fine so long as I can call you mom.

I know...why don't we think of a nickname ONLY you can call me?

Trying to outfox me, you decided to go with my "Steve" tactic thinking I would never agree to a ridiculous nickname and would, therefore, have no choice but to finally accept "mom" - -

Medusa! You triumphantly presented - your recent study of Greek mythology clearly paying off.

Perfect! I accepted, smiling.

That was nearly two years ago but you still, on occasion, use this pet name - mostly upon a departure of some sort: "Goodbye/Goodnight Medusa!" and each time, I consider the context of my dubbing and feel warm inside.

When I think about your dad and how fortunate I feel to have found him, I think about how incredible it is that he not only wanted to spend the rest of his life with me but that he found me worthy of sharing in your life, too. I think about this a lot and I marvel at it every single time.

I love being a part of your humor, empathy, intellect, and affection. I love watching you learn and experience life. I love "giving you dreams" with your dad and sharing in our "kiss code" at bedtime.

I hope I am always among the faces you look for in the hallways of your life; I promise I will always be there.

I love you,

Medusa